vestigial: commissioned. (wat)
daryl. ([personal profile] vestigial) wrote in [personal profile] iesus 2016-12-20 04:18 am (UTC)

Daryl has no idea how he got to this place in life. He's supposed to be the one out there - hunting or tracking, on a run or just plain fucked off. He's not the one who stays back and handles shit at 'home', he doesn't have the head for it-- might when there's not a war brewing, but he's too fucked up about it to be as useful as Rick seems to think he is. He's restless and angry and all he wants to do is kill people, honestly, and he's pretty sure that makes him nearly as bad as the people he wants to kill, but he doesn't rightly care anymore. Daryl was never meant for the world before - just the remnant of something ancient and unevolved, a part of humanity that should have atrophied long ago. He can deal with the ugliness of the world now because his world has always been ugly, and if he has to be worse so that the family that's accepted him can live on in the world after then that's fine. No matter what Rick says, what Aaron says, Daryl has no place somewhere like Alexandria.

When this is over he'll-- he doesn't know. Maybe he'll be dead. He could die for Rick and his family and be satisfied.

He thought, anyway.

Daryl genuinely isn't worried when Jesus leaves for his run, even though it looks like it'll be a rough one. Rick, unsolicited, says he doesn't actively worry about Michonne, either. ('Either', like Daryl had said something, which he didn't.) Says it's freeing and comforting to be able to trust somebody that way. Daryl points out they trust their whole group like that, and Rick just looks at him with this exasperated-patient-fond look until he realizes Daryl's not going to elaborate and sighs. And that seems to be it, until Jesus doesn't show back up when he's supposed to.

Everyone stares at him. Expects him to react. Days go by and a few people seem to be suspicious of him for not reacting. (How can he be fine, he hears someone ask, and doesn't stick around to discover what Maggie answers.)

Dawn on day five and he still hasn't voiced a concern, but he leaves anyway. Gets about two miles out before Michonne catches up. (Harlan ratted him out. Prick.) The argument is one-sided and mostly Daryl yelling. He's not even sure what about. He doesn't know where the fuck Jesus is and chances of finding him by following the path he had tentatively mapped out are less than zero, because if he was on that path he wouldn't be this late. But she talks him down and holds his head in her hands and doesn't say anything else. Daryl doesn't say anything else, either, even when they get back.

So. Yes. He's there with Rick in the house when Jesus rolls in, but they're not talking or planning because Daryl hasn't said a fucking word.

And--

"I'd say that's worth a detour," he mutters around Rick's more sensible and grateful debriefing. Like he wasn't worried.

(Because he wasn't. Even if Michonne is staring at the back of Daryl's head like she can burn a hole in it with laser-vision.)

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